When I was a kid, He-man and the Masters of the Universe was my favorite show. Since it had been about 24 years since I had seen an episode of the show, I had long since forgotten why it is so awesome. Then I saw a video, and it occurred to me that Skeletor is the best villain ever. Let's appreciate his amazingness for a moment:
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Weird drug survey.
I somehow managed to end up taking a survey about how being jewish affected my drug use. As I took it it got really odd. It started to feel like that survey Mitch Hedburg talked about with questions like "In the last six months have you used PCP or sugar?" Basically, in terms of drug use, you could choose in terms of how often you did it were "Always," "often," or "never." After not being sure whether I wanted to feel like a drug addict who is often apparently under the influence of most drugs, or I wanted to feel like a liar who has tried all sorts of drugs that he claims to have never done. I put down that I was always under the influence of every drug. Then the question asked whether my faith affected whether I used drugs or not. My answer? Yes.
Here are some sample responses I also put for this study:
*19.
Here are some sample responses I also put for this study:
*19.
Have you or anyone you know ever experienced a life threating
situation while being under the influence ? If yes, please briefly describe ?
situation while being under the influence ? If yes, please briefly describe ?
Yes. Coke dealers were trying to come and kill me after I found
their stash in some stereo speakers and sold most of it off for far
under market value and couldn't reimburse them for it. The rest
of the coke I used, and was in top form, not sleeping and thinking
sharply for three straight days straight until it all "blew" over. I still
have no idea how they knew it was me.
their stash in some stereo speakers and sold most of it off for far
under market value and couldn't reimburse them for it. The rest
of the coke I used, and was in top form, not sleeping and thinking
sharply for three straight days straight until it all "blew" over. I still
have no idea how they knew it was me.
|
I would have a drugs block party. I'd get them drugs that are
in as clean of a state as possible and have them experiment
with them in a safe place. After this they would know what
the good stuff felt like, and how tampered drugs were different
. Also, they would know which drugs they thought were ok to do,
and which ones they did not think were ok to do. Also, we
could have a bbq and a clown for the children.
in as clean of a state as possible and have them experiment
with them in a safe place. After this they would know what
the good stuff felt like, and how tampered drugs were different
. Also, they would know which drugs they thought were ok to do,
and which ones they did not think were ok to do. Also, we
could have a bbq and a clown for the children.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
An ode to crazy old people.
As children, people are generally comfortable in their skin. The world is new and different and the need to fit in doesn't matter. Soon a desire to conform or get along with people becomes more and more important. We fold to social customs and act in certain ways in order to fit into the general social order of our surroundings.
Then, at a certain age, some point in the 60's, all of that goes out the window. Suddenly, they don't give a FUCK about what you think. They have seniority over the whole world, and those who they don't have seniority over can go to hell anyway. I've been in the car with older people driving, swirving all over the road and talking about how dangerously all those assholes are that they keep nearly hitting. You tell them that they are driving a bit erratically and what do you get in return? "Fuck you! I've been driving twice as long as you've been alive." They don't give a fuck. I've had an old man come at me with his cane because he didn't want me skating in front of his building. Considering the fact that he needed a cane to walk, you gotta give him credit for the effort.
A lot of this bitterness has to do with the fact that at a certain point life becomes relfective. People stop moving forward, and take a step back and think about what they have done or haven't done, reminiscing and nostalgically recreating glorious years of the past. Most things that haven't been accomplished either won't be, or don't matter at this point. Not all people do this though. Some people are still living it up, and creating new adventures and memories. This post is dedicated to them.
First we have Rip Torn:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100130/ap_on_en_mo/us_people_rip_torn_arrested_1
Text: "SALISBURY, Conn. – Actor Elmore "Rip" Torn has been charged with breaking into a Connecticut bank and carrying a loaded handgun while intoxicated.
State police say the 78-year-old Salisbury resident was arrested Friday night after police found him inside the Litchfield Bancorp with a loaded revolver.
The "Men in Black" actor has been taken into custody and booked on charges including burglary and possession of firearm without a permit. He is being held on $100,000 bond and is scheduled for a Monday appearance in Bantam Superior Court.
Last year, Torn was given probation in a Connecticut drunken driving case and granted permission to enter an alcohol education program. He also has two previous drunken driving arrests in New York.
A spokesman for Torn did not immediately return phone calls Saturday."
Looks like old age can't stop ol' Rip from roarin! Rip Torn was arrested yesterday for apparently breaking into a bank wasted while armed with a gun, and he's 78. 3 out of my 4 grandparents didn't even make it to 78. This dude is out there drunkenly figuring out how to break into a fucking BANK. I'll admit that I have broken into places, most of them being my own residencies when I have locked myself out, and know that breaking into buildings in general is pretty tough, but a bank?Are you kidding me? Those places are as secure as it gets. This dude got in while wasted, and he was born while Hoover was President. God only knows why he thought he needed a gun to do this, but it certainly adds to the overall awesomeness of the stituation. The way I see it, this man shouldn't be arrested, he should get a medal from the AARP for showing that old people can be raging drunk assholes just as well as any young whippersnappers out there.
The article points out that he has had 3 DUI arrests, and was ordered to go to some sort of substance abuse program. Fuck that though. Somebody probably should take his driver's license away, by why make him stop boozing? Is it going to effect the job he is retired from? Is it going to make him lose new friends that he doesn't care about making? Is he going to die prematurely from it? No. Fuck that. At a certain age you should be able to get as wasted as you want on whatever you want. Rip has made it clear that not only is it alright for older people to get drunk, but it is far better. If some 20-something movie star got arrested after breaking into a bank wasted while brandishing a gun, I wouldn't care.
Other videos of crazy old men:
Basically, Buzz had no choice but to sock the dude.
People who try to commit suicide and fail can't do anything right.
Then, at a certain age, some point in the 60's, all of that goes out the window. Suddenly, they don't give a FUCK about what you think. They have seniority over the whole world, and those who they don't have seniority over can go to hell anyway. I've been in the car with older people driving, swirving all over the road and talking about how dangerously all those assholes are that they keep nearly hitting. You tell them that they are driving a bit erratically and what do you get in return? "Fuck you! I've been driving twice as long as you've been alive." They don't give a fuck. I've had an old man come at me with his cane because he didn't want me skating in front of his building. Considering the fact that he needed a cane to walk, you gotta give him credit for the effort.
A lot of this bitterness has to do with the fact that at a certain point life becomes relfective. People stop moving forward, and take a step back and think about what they have done or haven't done, reminiscing and nostalgically recreating glorious years of the past. Most things that haven't been accomplished either won't be, or don't matter at this point. Not all people do this though. Some people are still living it up, and creating new adventures and memories. This post is dedicated to them.
First we have Rip Torn:
Rip Torn's mugshot, in which he clearly is
communicating to the camera and officer
operating it that he does not give a FUCK
what any of you think
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100130/ap_on_en_mo/us_people_rip_torn_arrested_1
Text: "SALISBURY, Conn. – Actor Elmore "Rip" Torn has been charged with breaking into a Connecticut bank and carrying a loaded handgun while intoxicated.
State police say the 78-year-old Salisbury resident was arrested Friday night after police found him inside the Litchfield Bancorp with a loaded revolver.
The "Men in Black" actor has been taken into custody and booked on charges including burglary and possession of firearm without a permit. He is being held on $100,000 bond and is scheduled for a Monday appearance in Bantam Superior Court.
Last year, Torn was given probation in a Connecticut drunken driving case and granted permission to enter an alcohol education program. He also has two previous drunken driving arrests in New York.
A spokesman for Torn did not immediately return phone calls Saturday."
Looks like old age can't stop ol' Rip from roarin! Rip Torn was arrested yesterday for apparently breaking into a bank wasted while armed with a gun, and he's 78. 3 out of my 4 grandparents didn't even make it to 78. This dude is out there drunkenly figuring out how to break into a fucking BANK. I'll admit that I have broken into places, most of them being my own residencies when I have locked myself out, and know that breaking into buildings in general is pretty tough, but a bank?Are you kidding me? Those places are as secure as it gets. This dude got in while wasted, and he was born while Hoover was President. God only knows why he thought he needed a gun to do this, but it certainly adds to the overall awesomeness of the stituation. The way I see it, this man shouldn't be arrested, he should get a medal from the AARP for showing that old people can be raging drunk assholes just as well as any young whippersnappers out there.
The article points out that he has had 3 DUI arrests, and was ordered to go to some sort of substance abuse program. Fuck that though. Somebody probably should take his driver's license away, by why make him stop boozing? Is it going to effect the job he is retired from? Is it going to make him lose new friends that he doesn't care about making? Is he going to die prematurely from it? No. Fuck that. At a certain age you should be able to get as wasted as you want on whatever you want. Rip has made it clear that not only is it alright for older people to get drunk, but it is far better. If some 20-something movie star got arrested after breaking into a bank wasted while brandishing a gun, I wouldn't care.
Other videos of crazy old men:
Basically, Buzz had no choice but to sock the dude.
People who try to commit suicide and fail can't do anything right.
Gut punch him till he goes down.
Sometimes people just kill it in life. An example is the following. A skinny pale dude dressed up like King Hippo from Mike Tyson's punch out. For reference, a picture of King Hippo is posted below him.
The Boondocks.
Amazing satire on the Iraq War. Wish I could use it to teach satire, unfortunately too many n-bombs get dropped, and a subplot about prison rape might not go over well with parents or administrators.
old blog
just looked at my last attempt to blog, and despite some cheesiness, it had some cool stories of the good old skate days. I had a lot more stories to tell of my time in SF, but google bought out blogger or something and I couldn't get into my account anymore, and it died.
It's got a lot more words, and a lot less pictures:
http://daveinsf.blogspot.com/
It's got a lot more words, and a lot less pictures:
http://daveinsf.blogspot.com/
Dogs.
My last post was actually my first post on this, and was pretty much a bummer. To make up for this, and to set a better tone for the future, I present sweet pictures of dogs being ridiculous:
What a shitty week.
First Howard Zinn, then J.D. Salinger. This week two voices that have greatly influenced me have passed away. I am scared that soon Mark Twain will rise from the dead and let everybody know that he is back, only to die and disappoint me further.
Take a minute to remember each:
Zinn:
read these:
Salinger:
Take a minute to remember each:
Zinn:
read these:
Salinger:
Read these, you lousy phony:
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